| All of us have built in denial systems; we even deny that we are in denial! Sometimes this serves us well, protects us and is helpful. However it can also be a hindrance when we adults put our blinders on and don’t see what is happening with our children. I am referring to the danger of not recognizing our kids are “using.” This isn’t an easy thing — to recognize signs. Covering up use of any kind of chemical substance is part of the “culture of using” and often difficult to detect.
On Nov. 8 at the Moravian Church’s Town Hall Meeting, five brave people shared their stories of addiction and recovery. The four young adults all grew up in the Northfield area and indicated that alcohol and drugs were easy to get. They all began experimenting during the middle school years and all became addicted. Beginning with either marijuana and/or alcohol, for some their use expanded to prescription drugs, cocaine and heroin. It was tough and touching listening to their stories and tumultuous journeys from addiction to treatment (inpatient and outpatient), then to halfway and sober houses.
As I listened and agonized over their stories, there were some “themes” that emerged worth paying attention to as parents, teachers, coaches, youth workers, faith communities and indeed all community members.
One of these themes is transition times: From elementary to middle school is a critical time and calls for extra vigilance. Although sixth-graders still seem young, their new and sometimes confusing surroundings can put them in tempting situations. Peer approval and fitting in is everything. Parents: as they start to make more choices on their own, your child may make you feel unwelcome in their lives and start questioning your values. Even though they may be emotionally pulling away during the teen years, your child needs you to be involved in their life more than ever. The involvement is different than in earlier years, but just as critical; pay attention.
A few tips to help promote good choices:
• Make sure your teen knows your rules, the consequences of breaking them, and that you will enforce the rules.
• Show interest — and discuss — what is going on in your child’s daily life, all the ups and downs. Being comfortable talking with each other is key.
• Know their friends including those online, their MySpace or Facebook page. Keep lines of communication open and keep talking.
• Don’t leave all your teen’s anti-drug education up to the school. Remember, parents are a great anti-drug.
Factors that can contribute to experimenting with alcohol or other drugs:
• Spending too much alone, unsupervised time
• Access to a car
• Money (from whatever source)
• Boredom
• Academic challenges
Realize things can happen including use of alcohol, marijuana, prescription and other drugs. Take your blinders off. Seek help in sorting out what you are seeing or sensing and then take action. It could be my kid. |
